Agony Season “Blackout Baptism” Leather Jorts

The Blackout Baptism leather jorts by Agony Season are the sartorial equivalent of lighting a match in a gas station bathroom just to see what happens. Cut from jet-black faux leather with a stiff, structured silhouette, these anti-shorts refuse to conform—literally or figuratively. They hit below the knee, just long enough to confuse your dad and intimidate your ex.

High-waisted and heavy with main-character energy, they’re built for stomping through industrial wastelands, abandoned malls, or the VIP section nobody invited you to (but you’re already in). Five-pocket construction for holding grudges, burner phones, or lip gloss. Button and zip closure to keep your secrets where they belong.

Wear them with a mesh top, a thousand-yard stare, and absolutely zero apologies.

Warning: May cause power surges in low-light environments.